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Academic writing practice for IELTS-Task 1-Test 4

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aqua

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My answer:


The table shows the percentage of pupils entering higher education from four secondary schools from 1995 to 2000.

Over the period of 5 years, four schools experienced an upward trend except Grey, declining from 90% to 70% at a steady pace.

Among four schools with upward trend, Harble witnessed the highest increase which nearly tripled from 30% to 80% for 5 years. By contrast, the percentage of entrants to university from Royston, Growkend and Farfield grew more slowly, climbing up by 10%, 12% and 14% respectively for the entire period.

Between 1995 and 1996, Harble’s students who entered university increased by 5% before seeing a steady rise of 10% per annum for the 3 following years, whereas, those at Royston only experienced a 2% improvement for the first 2 years. Then, there was no growth until 1999 when rate of university entrants stood at 60%, remaining unchanged the following year.

Both Farfild and Growkend’s percentage through some fluctuation ended the period with higher percentage than the beginning, albeit by different pace. There were two opposite trends at these schools happing in 1996 and 1998. 1996 saw the growth of 5% in the university entrant rate at Farfield while there was a slight decrease of 1% at Growkend. In 1998, Farfile’s percentage stayed the same at 75% whereas this of Growkend increased to 61% from 60% of the previous year.

Word count: 229

To Birdy: Those essays I am posting here (10 in total) have been finished in hard form, but I haven’t transferred all to soft-form. That’s why I think that those writings are very familiar in style, which I don’t know how to make them different. I hope that you can continue checking my writings and posting yours here, giving me a different angle to deal with the questions, of course if it’s convenient to you. I am always looking forward for your comments. Thank you so so so much for your enormous support!!!

To others:
Hope to see your feedback also. Thanks!!



Last edited by aqua on Sat Mar 12, 2011 12:46 pm; edited 1 time in total

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bluebirdy

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Hi again Aqua!

I am back to circulation and thanks for wishing me well. I see you have posted quite a lot and you did good. I like seeing your interest in what you're doing. Keep it up! You don't need to knock, the door is already widely open for you. SUCCESS is there waiting Aqua! Kudos!

By the way, here's my Answer... hope this is fine.... : )

A survey was conducted in five secondary schools to determine the percentage of pupils who entered higher education covering the years 1995 to 2000, inclusive. The results were tabulated and can be illustrated and explained as follows:
Of the five sample schools, only Harble Secondary showed a continuous rise of enrollees from 1995 through 2000. Starting from 30% in the year 1995, it showed an increase of 5% the following year and another 10% increase in 1997. The following years thereafter, the trend continued to increase at an equal pace of 10% in 1998 and 1999 and a remarkable 20% increase in margin in 2000. The other 2 sample schools, namely, Royston Academy, Farfield Girls, likewise showed a gradual increase in enrollment for the first 3 years. However, Royston Academy slowed down in 1998 when it nailed its enrollment percentage at the same level. It again made a hike the following year 1999 and again stuck its enrollment percentage at 60 in 2000. Farfield Girls, likewise, experienced a steady pace in 1998 but recovered in 1999 with an enrollment marked at 70% and climbed up to 79% in 2000.

Growkend Boys experienced a slight decline of enrollment in the second year of survey as it lowered down its enrollment by 1% in 1996. Yet, it recovered back at 60% the following year, 1997, and continued to have a slight increase every year thereafter until it reached 62% in the year 2000.

While Harble Secondary was enjoying a boom in enrollment for these years, Greystone High on the other hand, experienced the reverse. With its 90% enrollees, the highest in the year 1995, it showed a declining enrollment rate every year thereafter, 80% in 1996, down to 75%, 73% and 72% in 1997, 1998, and 1999, respectively, although it did not dive down to half of its original enrollment in 2000.

Analyzing the results, it can be gleaned from this survey that a good number of pupils were interested to enroll in higher education; however, in the year 1997 onwards, times must have been difficult causing the enrollment percentage to lower its pace.


(353 words)

To all: I would like to invite you to jot a line or two for your comments in English please. Or if not, post your own 'Answer' too. The only way to know if you can write is to try to scribble...take your pen, express yourself! Come on, guys. Let's practice our writing skills! pig

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SHHH! HUSH!!! ^^WELCOME BACK TO US @BIRDY !

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bluebirdy

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Many Thanks Osama! Just trying to survive...hehe...still crawling though....lol...

aws, you're giving me a REAL TOUGH JOB here Osama....hehehehe....but glad, it enhances my writing, as well...The only problem i got here is: NOBODY IS TEACHING ME THE LANGUAGE????? huhuhu.... êtr

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aqua

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bluebirdy wrote:Hi again Aqua!

[justify]I am back to circulation and thanks for wishing me well. I see you have posted quite a lot and you did good. I like seeing your interest in what you're doing. Keep it up! You don't need to knock, the door is already widely open for you. SUCCESS is there waiting Aqua! Kudos!

By the way, here's my Answer... hope this is fine.... : )

A big welcome back to you Birdy!!! So happy to see you here again. Last night, I checked the forum without seeing no news. After a night of sleeping, I woke up in the morning and saw you here, just feel like in a fairy tale. You should take good care of your health. This is the most precious thing, which many people take for granted.

I always find something I can learn from your writing. These following expressions are new to me, which can help me to make my writings more flexible!!!

  • covering the years
    it nailed its enrollment percentage
    It again made a hike
    enjoying a boom in enrollment
    it can be gleaned from this survey
    every year thereafter,


Thank you so much Birdy!!! You are always of a great help!!!

bluebirdy wrote:
To all: I would like to invite you to jot a line or two for your comments in English please. Or if not, post your own 'Answer' too. The only way to know if you can write is to try to scribble...take your pen, express yourself! Come on, guys. Let's practice our writing skills! pig

Yes, everyone, let's write together!!!!



Last edited by aqua on Mon Feb 28, 2011 7:20 am; edited 1 time in total

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aqua

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bluebirdy wrote:Many Thanks Osama! Just trying to survive...hehe...still crawling though....lol...

aws, you're giving me a REAL TOUGH JOB here Osama....hehehehe....but glad, it enhances my writing, as well...The only problem i got here is: NOBODY IS TEACHING ME THE LANGUAGE????? huhuhu.... êtr

What kind of language Birdy??? If it's English, then I cannot do anything, but if it's Vietnamese, then I can do something for you ^^

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bluebirdy

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It's Vietnamese Aqua....I find it toooooooo difficult....hehehe.... êtr
But thanks, I am hoping one day i will understand what everyone has posted here in your language...without the aid of a google translator....lol... Wink

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aqua

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^^, google translor cannot help much with Vietnamese, i think, because Vietnamese intonations are very complicated. Take the spelling 'chua' for example, (because when we type in google, we usually eliminate the intonations but we still can understand the word in context). So 'chua' can mean 'sour' when there is no additional thing, 'chua' means not yet when it is understood as 'chưa' (can you see a very little mark in the letter u?), 'chua' can also be 'lord' when it is understood as 'chúa' (another little mark in letter u), or it can be a pogoda when it is understood as 'chùa' (again mark in letter u) êtr Hope it doesn't confuse you~~~

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